I had a shower this morning.

Yep.  You read that eye catching headline correctly.  This morning, I had a shower.  It’s not something I usually do, and I’ve got to say I’m not sure I’m in a hurry to repeat the activity.  Disclaimer: since becoming a ‘busy mum’ (which, incidentally, is one of the phrases I hate most in the world so this is a bit of a joke), I’ve not let my personal hygiene habits slip entirely – I just usually shower at night when I can do in peace and Shane can man the fort.

How did I come to choose today to have a morning shower?  I just couldn’t be bothered last night.  I just wanted to keep watching “Mad Men” on Netflix and savour the last season of Don Draper and I absolutely did not want to have a shower.  So I thought, I’ll try and have one in the morning, how hard can it be?

Well…I started by locking the door.  Because the last thing I needed was two escapees on the railway line when I was halfway through shampooing.  I debated whether to just put “Thomas the Tank Engine” on for them and shut the door to the bathroom, but since they can’t go 2 minutes without telling me or asking me for something, I decided I’d just leave it open.  I’m still not sure if this was a mistake.

I think the task would also be easier if our shower had a door, but it’s a walk in job and I lost count of the amount of times they told me that their feet were getting wet as they played with their trucks in the water.  I was treated to a running commentary – oh there’s bubbles, mum’s washing her hair, mum has birds on her leg, why do you have buttons on your side and so on and so forth.  But then they tired of this and decided to trash the bathroom instead.  At last count, I’d found no less than four toilet rolls stashed all over the house. They ripped all the towels out of the rack and put a motor bike down the toilet.  A toy one thank goodness because I’m not sure if I’d be able to get a real one out again.  They grabbed the dog by the jacket and dragged him to see that mum was having a shower.

They cracked it when I put my hair in a towel to dry because apparently that is definitely not what a towel should be used for and then they jumped on the bed and started performing circus tricks complete with a ringmaster who said ‘welcome to the show everybody’ with outstretched arms and all. And then they stashed some more toilet rolls.

I probably should be a bit more of a disciplinarian or something but I generally take the approach that I should pick my battles.  And in fairness to them, they’d been faced with the prospect of having to entertain themselves whilst I had a shower before so it could have been worse.  Maybe.  But I think I’ll stick to nocturnal bathing from now on.  Now that I’ve discovered the wonders of dry shampoo to tame my Jeff Kennet c.1990s morning hair.

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