Not to be sneezed at

My nan was absolutely, hands down, no doubt about it, the greatest woman there has ever been. Ask anyone who knew her. A little while ago I was saying what a bloody good woman was (which is not uncommon) and dad piped up with ‘she’s the best woman I’ve ever known’. Mum (we’re talking about her mother) was a bit put out but dad stood firm ‘well, I’m sorry but it’s true. You’re a close second.’ (And mum you are absolutely a very close second!)

Apart from her amazing tenacity, her quiet confidence, her gentle wisdom and her bottomless pit of love and compassion, she had the best sayings in the world. She left this mortal coil a few years ago now but she is never far from my thoughts and I like to think she smiles down upon me every time I use one of her gems. I loved them so much that I wrote them all down. And now I thought I’d share a few of them in the hopes they might ‘tickle your fancy’.

  • That’s a bit laity!  Nan usually said this to me when I had one of my more memorable hair styles. Some of these included: dread locks, orange and green (my entire head mind you) and the one that started it all – pink and blue streaks. Sometimes she asked if it was a wig. It never was.
  • I’ve just had my hair titivated up.  I like to give this one a run whenever I get my hair done. My hair styles are much more mainstream these days. Last time I only had a pattern shaved into a side burn.
  • Gallivanting around the countryside.  I’ve become quite good at this. Nan was always intrigued as to where her flock were living or on holiday and would check the weather on the news every day to keep up to date with the meteorological happenings.
  • There’s a Jack for every Jill.  Yes it is indeed possible for (almost) everyone to find love. This is best said with a shake of the head and a look of wonder.
  • I’ve got a head like a sieve.  This is becoming ever more apparent for me. Nan lived to be in her 90s and could remember what each shop in the main street was forever. She knew the birthdates of her considerable family and had a mental list of everyone’s favourite afternoon tea snack. I’m flat out remembering where my wallet is.
  • You need to be a Philadelphia lawyer to work it out.  I’m not sure what makes a Philadelphia lawyer so smart, but there are lots of things that I need one for. Luckily I’m married to a fella who is nearly as bright.
  • They must have stood at the door and thrown them in.  This is especially frustrating when you’re salivating over a nice chocolate muffin; which claims to have all sorts of extra chocolate goodness only to find they’re not so plentiful.
  • Runs with the hares and hunts with the hounds.  I’m sure we all know a few people like this; those we think are in our corner only to find they’re not. If you’re lucky enough not to have experienced this first hand, you can witness it in any episode of any ‘Real Housewives… franchise.
  • Are you on shanks pony?   Is there a better way in the world to ask whether one is walking?
  • I’m no rabbit.   Unfortunately I feel I have inherited nan’s general dislike for salads. Life would be so much easier if I liked them.
  • The man who cuts his own wood warms himself twice.  Wood is a bit of a big deal in our family. The menfolk like to collect, cut, stack, store and stare at wood. They even like to burn it.
  • Put a fur coat on the chickens.  This is why I will likely never have pet chooks because Sam (the almost 10yo Jack Russell for those playing at home) bung knees or not, is likely to offer them a fur coat willingly.
  • East west, home’s best.    Ain’t that the truth?!

There are plenty more where these came from but these are some of my absolute favourite. She was a wise woman my nan. A tough one and a funny one. And she made the best cups of tea ever. The world would be a better place if we were all a bit more like nan.

So I challenge you to pick one of these and whack into your everyday vernacular!

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