Some days are messier than others. Literally and figuratively. Today was one of those days. It all began in a fairly usual fashion, me wondering where Paddy was, found him in the bidet (another quant feature of our bathroom that fortuitously for Paddy’s sake we don’t use). Where’s Bede? In the enormous spa of course. Right on the other side, laughing at me because he knows I have to get in to get him out and by the time I do that, Paddy will have got in and so it goes on. Getting them out of our room is a feat in itself so most days I don’t go back in and treat it as the war zone that it is. Those people who suggest they ‘just need to learn’ have never had spirited twins and some questionable design features hanging around from the original owners.
By nine am the house looked like we had been ransacked. There was no treasure found at the bottom of either of the plastics drawers, none of the toy boxes and definitely not in the secret spot where I keep all the precious things like cards, invitations and letters. My Magic Bullet (which, by the by, I do not recommend) went out in sympathy just as I was blending my banana, chia, peanut butter wankery hipster smoothie and exploded everywhere. But – behind every cloud there’s a silver lining and I have to hand it to the boys on their comedic timing – Paddy said ‘oh uh’ right on cue and Bede followed up by laughing hysterically. On top of this, I have a feeling that more teeth might be on the horizon. Possibly. But I always find this a good excuse/reason/explanation for when the boys are just losing their minds for no apparent reason. They were moping around like they were drunk, hitting their heads, falling over, picking things up and then forgetting what they were going to and just generally behaving like they’d been at Pistols for a few hours and didn’t know what to do with themselves. Not that I have any idea what that feels like. And I’ll just add into the mix that I’ve got a broken thumb. Or at the very least a sprained one. But I will tell you something for nothing, it’s very tricky to change nappies with only one thumb. I now appreciate just how important the opposable thumb is in human evolution.
So, by about 9:30am, we were all well and truly over Friday already. It was fast becoming one of those days where I wonder if perhaps a year 9 maths extra period 6 on a Friday might be a better option. I’ve had these days before. Lots of them. When I realise that I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing and wonder how everyone else manages. I’ve written before about how I never actually thought about the reality of motherhood and I certainly was not aware of how many times a day I would reflect on the fact that I probably wasn’t really qualified to be in charge of two tiny little human beings. How many times I’d question everything I was doing and think that I was the worst mother in the world because I couldn’t get them to sleep, settle, be happy, sit quietly like the babies in the books and pictures. How many times a month, a week no – let’s be brutally honest, a day, I’d end up in tears of despair that I just didn’t know what to do. I still don’t know what to do all the time, but life became a bit easier when I adopted my new mantra – ‘if it won’t matter in five years time, it doesn’t matter now’.
In life before multiples, I used to take photos of the bed made up and send it to Shane to use as reference for when he was making the bed. Now, I’m lucky to have matching sheets and pillowcases let alone a bed that’s been made. I used to clean the bathrooms three times a week. once a proper clean and twice just a maintenance clean. And the floors. I was pedantic about floors. Now, as I sit here with the toys strewn all over the place (still), the dishes in the sink, the bathrooms cleaned only once and little bit of raisin bread mashed into the floorboards (I honestly think it’s either kids or carpet and I’m really glad I don’t have much), I know that it won’t matter in five years, so I’m not worried about it now. Tomorrow is a new day and I’ll muster the strength to clean the house just in case Home Beautiful pops in unannounced to take some snaps. I’ve seen all the corny crappy little ditties about ‘good mums have sticky floors… blah blah blah’ that seem to be in vogue these days, but I prefer the plate my nan had which simply says ‘Come in, sit down, relax converse. Our house doesn’t always look like this, sometimes it’s even worse’. It’s now in our house, somewhat appropriately broken after the boys threw a ball that hit it and it fell off the wall.
So what about the rest of the day? Well, it had the potential to be an absolute train wreck. But, we pulled ourselves together, got in the car, listened to Uncle Stubbsy and went for a play and lunch (which I proceeded to spill all over my front) in Horsham and all was right with the world again. Even though the 30% chance of rain turned into a 100% probably just because I had all my clotheslines full. But the best bit? Shane knew it’d been a messy day so he brought home some Melbourne Bitter and took the boys while I had a bath. Bless him. He’s the best husband I’ve ever had.